I try to find a way

This is the last time I stay in the company ,I am going to leave this company ,but I need some money to go to a school to learn English ,It is really a difficult choice for me ,but I would like to have a try ,God ,where are you ,would you like to help me ,give me some hint, God, I wish I could follow your way ,God ,if this is just what you want me to do ,just give me some direction ,I would like to follow the way you choose for me, God ,I love you ,I want to listen to you ,please help me .God ,I am so sorry ,I do not listen to you ,I am so pride and arrogant ,I am sorry for what I do ,please forgive me ,I am so sorry for what I have done ,I wish I could do something honor you ,God I love you ,I am so sorry for this ,God ,have you forgive me ?

I am not sure enough about what shall I do next, I wish I could follow you all the time!